“I had the best idea.”


“Yeah. Best idea. For break-ins.”


“Yeah, see, we’ll train your iguana to climb up a wall, right. Carrying a rope.”

“There are so many things wrong with this idea.”

“No, really, it’s a lizard, it climbs well. So it climbs up with a rope, and hold really tight with those claws of his-”


“-hers, and we can climb up.”

“Why would we break in anywhere, anyway?”

“Because we can!”

“You should switch to water.”

“Pool? Like in True Lies?”

“Mila, you’re drunk.”

“Right! I have the best ideas when drunk.”

I'm attempting the April A to Z challenge, with fiction with at most 100 words. The prompts "Iguana", "Ingenious" and "Imbibe" came from Lyn Thorne-Alder.

If you have prompts for later in the alphabet, please give them to me.

tagged Cephalopods

Blame Game

“It was your idea!”

“I was kidding! You bought it!”

“You could have said, but you went on about cooking it!”

“You tried to put it in the pot, it’s your fault!”

“I don’t care. You two will clean the octopus ink off the ceiling together while I take the poor dear to the zoo.”

So, I'm attempting the April A to Z challenge, with fiction with at most 100 words. "B is for Blame Game" came from Royce Day. C is written, too, but if you have prompts for later in the alphabet, please give them to me.

Pillow Talk

“Try to sleep, love.”

“I have tried. I can’t. What if I forgot anything? What if I’m not good enough? I, I, I—”

“You made your case, you did your best, and fretting now won’t help. Guerillas could hide in the shadows under your eyes. At least lie down, and try to relax. I’ll rub your back.”

“I’m afraid of—”

“Shh. I have you, I’ll hold you. If this doesn’t work, you won’t be alone.”

“Thank you.”

“How’s the back?”

“Getting better.”

“I thought so.”

“I’m Warm.”


“You smell nice.”

“I’ll be here in the morning, every morning. Promise.”

tagged Fantasy Emergent

A Lawyer Lunch

“You don’t look happy.”

“And you know why. This is big. And messy. But mostly big.”

“Your first serial killer, eh?”

“That is the question, isn’t it?”

“She killed people and ate them. No wonder you’re losing your appetite.”

“Tch. Be serious, will you? Laws on murder predate the emergence of supernaturals. My client targeted vampires exclusively. They were already dead. That meets the definition of corpse mutilation.”

“Oh. Yes. Very messy… You might end up with being a vampire being a case of interfering with one’s own funeral...”

“The hell with it. It must be cleared up some time.”

Based on the prompt "A cannibal serial killer murders and eats vampires" by alternatesocks


"All those pills... Don't you want to try something herbal instead? All that chemistry can't be good for you."

"Mum, what do you think photosynthesis is? Magic? It's really amazing chemistry."

"But mixing up stuff in a lab, that's unnatural!"

"Then so would be using a lighter to start a fire, rather than waiting for a lightning strike."

"You don't eat fire, though. Dear, herbal remedies are so much better, because they have less side effects--"

"Yes, mum, opium and cocaine are known for their lack of dangerous side effects, sure. And deadly nightshade is a tasty berry."

Lateral Wording

"What's the opposite of boot?"


"No, entirely different --"


"Nooo, what you do with a computer."

"Oh. Um. Crash?"

"I'd think that's something the computer does... I mean what you do before switching it off normally,

"I think that's 'shut down'."

"That's all?"

"Can't think of anything else."

"Bah. Thanks, anyway."

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